


Shouting weeaboo

by Anon_H



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Mario Party, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, Weeaboo, gratuitous cake eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:52:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1992216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_H/pseuds/Anon_H
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Karkat and Damara are moirails, fluffly shenanigans are bound to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You are now KARKAT VANTAS, self-proclaimed LEADER of the BETA TROLLS, resident MOVIE-EXPERT and ROMANCE COUNCILOR for whomever wants to listen. Recently, you have found yourself with a bit of a CONUNDRUM though you would never call her that to her face.

Through a series of [events and shenanigans](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1746209/chapters/3729725) too stupid to put into words, you find yourself in a moiraillegiance with Aradia’s dancestor, Damara. There was no small part of trepidation on your part to enter a new pale relationship, after your last one so spectacularly failed, but in the end you caved. You begrudgingly admit that you just can’t help yourself around the incredibly destructive trolls; your brain is just hardwired to want and pap them into submission. Thankfully, Damara seems to be a lot more receptive of your pale needs and desires than your previous partner.  
You surprised everyone with the announcement (OR MORE PRECISELY; THE RUMORS SPREAD) but what was even more surprising was the positive effect the two of you had on each other. Damara, while prone to aggressively sexual comments, hasn’t destroyed, maimed or murdered in weeks. You have somehow become calm enough to even tolerate the likes of Eridan and Sollux, which the latter found more than a little creepy.

Damara had left the rest of the ALPHA TEAM behind when you started dating. When it become clear to you how poisonous (AND SHAMEFULLY PLATONIC) her hatred for most of the other trolls had become, you suggested it on a whim. It was a suggestion however that she eagerly latched on to. You aren’t certain whether she did it to appease you, her shiny new moirail, or because she genuinely felt this was the better option. Something you are still determined to find out during this very jam.

The two of you have been laying on the pile for the better part of an hour, mostly in a comfortable silence. It is important for moirails to discuss their feelings and problems with each other but it is just as important to be comfortable in each other’s silence. You can’t recall being this comfortable sharing silence with Gamzee: silence meant ideas of murder and decapitation could creep back into his rotten thinkpan. Damara on the other hand, seemed comfortable humming the theme to an anime about girls from the moon or something among those lines. The only thing you gathered from that anime was that A) her disguise was in no way functional as a real fucking disguise and B) your eastern Alternian needs work.  
‘Damara?’ you finally mumble, breaking the silence. Two dark red eyes look up to you.’Can I ask you something?’  
‘Yes you can.’ She nodded eagerly and scooted closer. Your first jams together had largely focused around her and you can tell she is anxious to prove she can comfort you as well.  
‘Do you miss the other alpha trolls?’  
‘No.’ she answered directly and without any trace of hesitation.’This is best.’  
I’m not saying you should get into contact with Rufioh or Meenah right away.’ You continue. ‘or that other guy…. whatshisface.’  
‘Ponyboy.’ she grins.  
‘That guy, right.’ you nod.’but maybe you wanna hang out with one of the Alphas that doesn’t suck?’  
‘Don’t want’ she chuckled. ‘all suck.’

‘Look…..’ you mumble, getting to the crux of the issue ‘Can I be totally honest with you?’  
She looks a little concerned at you and gently paps your face. You can just feel yourself relax when her fingertips reach your skin.  
‘This pile Karkat.’ She whispers.’You always honest on pile.’  
You give a slow nod.’I just…. Don’t want you to isolate yourself from your friends? Colleagues? Whatever, just because I made an off-hand suggestion like a fucking idiot. Cause if I turn out have made the wrong call again, like the everpresent beacon of failure like I am, then this whole deal will be screwed up so hard the medicullers need to amp--- ’ you stop.

Damara is not only papping now, but shooshing you. It is a clumsy, amateuristic shoosh, nothing at all like in your online vids, but damnit _she’s actually fucking shooshing you_ right now! You cannot help but wonder if you are the first person she shooshed like this.  
‘No need for panic.’ She says, surprisingly gentle. You can’t help it; you crack a smile as she kisses your forehead.’you worry much two much.’

’This best decision ever I make.’

* * *

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling antisocialArbiter [AA]\--

CG: ALRIGHT DAMARA, WE NEED TO TALK.  
AA: yes  
AA: we talk much  
AA: you moon of life  
AA: <>  
CG: <>  
CG: CUTE, BUT THAT’S NOT HELPING.  
AA: fuck  
CG: YEAH, NO SHIT.  
CG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING THREATENING KANAYA?  
AA: ………………..  
CG: I WOULD BE A LITTLE WEIRDED OUT IF THIS SHIT WOULD BE A BLACK SOLLICITATION, BUT I WOULD BE PRETTY OKAY WITH THAT. YOU’RE FREE TO GET YOURSELF A KISMESIS OR A MATESPRIT, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO BE PART OF IT, MAYBE HELP SCHEMING, STUFF LIKE THAT.  
CG: THREATENING TO RIP SOMEONE’S HORN OFF AND SHOVE IT UP THEIR NOOK HOWEVER, IS *NOT* PROPER BLACK ETIQUETTE.   
AA: she just wriggler  
CG: OKAY, THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU CONTACT HER JUST TO TELL HER THAT MUCH?  
CG: CAUSE IT KINDA SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.  
AA: you talk to her much  
AA: i……….  
AA: your language is confuse  
AA:私はrufiohとponyboyに起こったことのように、不正をされたく ありません。をされたくありませんをされたくありません  
CG: OKAY, WHAT DID NITRAM AND ZAHHAK DO TO MAKE YOU THREATEN KANAYA?  
CG: AND WHAT IS THAT ABOUT CHEATS?  
AA: i did stupid  
AA: gomen  
CG: ALRIGHT LOOK……  
CG: I WON’T BE MAD, JUST TELL ME WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU ALRIGHT?  
AA: promise  
CG: YEAH YEAH, I PROMISE.  
CG: IF WE WANT THIS RELATION TO WORK I’LL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE THINKING AND FEELING ALRIGHT?   
CG: NO JUDGING BETWEEN MOIRAILS IF THERE IS SHIT THAT NEEDS TO BE HASHED OUT.  
AA: now i feel stupiderder  
CG: DON’T. I *WANT* TO FUCKING HELP YOU HERE. YOU JUST NEED TO LET ME.  
AA: alright  
AA: i’ll try in you language  
CG: THANK YOU.  
AA: you talk much to maryam  
AA: i afraid you go cheat on me  
CG: WHAT?  
AA: i no want her to be your moirail I am moirail  
AA: so i tell her lots of things to keep away  
CG: REALLY?  
CG: CAUSE SHE ONLY MENTIONED THE HORN THING  
AA: i tell many things  
AA: sexually  
AA: many sextoys  
AA: many fun games with bulge nook and butt  
CG: YEAH, SHE PROBABLY DIDN’T WANT TO REPEAT THOSE.  
AA: i just get scare  
AA: rufioh so just to ‘talk’ to ponyboy  
AA: and suddenly they having yaoi sex in woods mine  
CG: AND YOU DIDN’T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN.  
AA: yes  
AA: stupid i no  
CG: JUST A LITTLE.  
CG: KANAYA IS JUST A FRIEND. I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS, OR AT LEAST PEOPLE I TOLERATE. I ALSO TALK A LOT TO STRIDER, EGBERT AND TEREZI BUT YOU DON’T TRY TO SCARE THEM AWAY RIGHT?  
AA: i try scare strider  
AA: he just confuse me  
CG: HE DOES THAT YEAH.  
AA: you tell me what is a 4chan?  
CG: IF I NEVER GO DOWN THAT PATH AGAIN, IT WILL STILL BE TOO MUCH.  
CG: LOOK, CAN WE GET BACK TO THE POINT?  
AA: yes  
CG: THE PONT IS, THAT I DON’T WANT YOU TO ISOLATE YOURSELF. I’M A BIT FUCKING WORRIED THAT, AFTER BREAKING IT OFF WITH THE ALPHAS, YOU HAVEN’T HELD MUCH CONVERSATION WITH ANYONE BUT ME.  
CG: AND, AS YOUR MOIRAIL IT IS MY DUTY TO SEE TO IT THAT, EVENTUALLY, YOU’LL ALSO FILL YOUR CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS.   
CG: MAYBE EVEN YOUR ASHEN IF AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THAT ARISES.  
CG: BUT THAT SHIT DOESN’T WORK IF YOU TRY TO BURN EVERY BRIDGE WE GOT.  
AA: i no understand saying  
AA: but i think i get what you say  
AA: burning a bridge bad omen for relations  
CG: NO. IT MEANS THAT YOU SHOULDN’T TRY TO DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM EVERYONE.  
AA: but its easiester  
CG: WELL IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.   
AA: shit  
CG: AS YOU’RE MOIRAIL I AM TELLING YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO KANAYA AND AT LEAST *ATTEMPT* TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER. OR NEPETA. I’M PRETTY SURE OUR LEIJON LIKES EVERYONE BUT MAKARA AND AMPORA. IT SHOULDN’T BE TOO HARD TO WIN HER OVER.  
AA: mao  
AA: i dont know how make friends with betas  
CG: ALRIGHT, I’LL GIVE YOU A POINTER. KANAYA’S INTERESTS INCLUDE CHAINSAWING THINGS UP, MAKING DRESSES, MAKING OUT WITH LALONDE AND READING A LOT.   
AA: she will tell me of her making out with matesprit?  
CG: PROBABLY NOT.  
AA: she read sexy stories?  
CG: SHE DOES BUT WILL DENY THAT AT EVERY FUCKING TURN.  
AA: she make sexy dress for next pale date?  
CG: SURE, YOU CAN TRY THAT.  
CG: JUST TRY TO GET ALONG AL RIGHT?  
AA: i will  
AA: you no mad with me?  
CG: A BIT DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU THINK I WOULD CHEAT.  
AA: i trust you  
AA: i no trust others  
CG: THAT’S SOMETHING WE’RE GONNA WORK ON, ALRIGHT?  
CG: IT KINDA PAYS OFF TO HAVE MORE PEOPLE YOU CAN RELY ON.  
AA: if you say  
AA: i rather not  
AA: never works out  
CG: JUST TRUST ME ON THIS, ALRIGHT?  
CG: IT ISN’T HEALTHY IF I AM YOUR *ONLY* FRIEND.  
AA: i guess  
AA: it just easy  
AA: it safe  
CG: YEAH, PEOPLE CAN BE ASSHOLES, BUT IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG I’LL BE RIGHT THERE FOR YOU, ALRIGHT?  
CG: <>  
AA: you romantic  
AA: i like  
AA: <>  
AA: i go talk to maryam now  
AA: this go wrong we fuck tonight  
CG: IF BY FUCK YOU MEAN JAM, THEN YES.  
AA: those not same thing?  
CG: OH MY GOD, WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS!  
AA: i know  
AA: just tease  
AA: see you tonight  
AA: <>

\--antisocialArbiter [AA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--

* * *

 

Language lessons have become a routine part of your relationship. Damara is slowly getting a grasp on the proper Alternian language. Though she makes a lot of mistakes in her construction and verbs, she can make people understand her.  
Being the romantic moirail that you are, you also try to get a grasp of her culture. You ate raw fish with rice, watch animated movies and she even convinced you to go through some kind of weeaboo initiation ritual. It involved wearing a strange robe she dubbed a kimono, a strange green sauce called wasabi, and preparing a raw fish/rice dish yourself, armed with nothing but a katanakind strife specibus. It wasn’t that big a deal to you, but it meant the world to her. You can’t remember ever having a feelingsjam so good as the one you had that day.

You easily adapt to the cultural thing. The two of you blended things from your lifestyles together and just made the most of it.

The thing you are really struggling with however, is learning her language.

‘Ah-ri-ca-toh’ You say slowly. She shakes her head.  
‘Ah-ri-ga-toh’ Damara repeats patiently, while lighting up a blunt. She offers you a took, but you decline. You only smoke with her on special occasions.  
‘Go-zah-mais-uh?’ you groan.  
‘Go-zai-mais-uh’ she corrects again.  
You want to flip out and take a deep breath to start ranting about the dumb language, it’s myriad of illogical constructions, it’s obsession with formal and informal pronounciation, but she already has one hand massaging your horn while papping you with the other.

‘Again try.’ She whispers and she playfully slides a finger down the length of your horn.

God, you are so pale for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda considered turning this into a 'rails-with-pails' sorta arrangement, which would make sense from Damara. I just don't see Karkat going along with it. So let's go with cute moiraillegiance instead, where both help the other to become more balanced individuals. Karkat learning something about being patient and not blaming himself all the time and Damara (slowly) learning to open up to other people again.
> 
> Pronunciation is probably entirely incorrect. I am not weeaboo enough.
> 
> Also, shameless self-promotion ftw.
> 
> It's 01:00, naptime. G'night everybody.


	2. Chapter 2

EB: hey karkat.  
EB: when are we gonna meet your girlfriend?   
CG: SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND YOU INSOLENT NOOKSLURPER, SHE’S MY MOIRAIL.   
CG: PLEASE JUST LEARN THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE CONCILIATORY AND CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS!  
CG: JUST HOW LONG WILL YOUR THINKPAN REMAIN IN THE FILIAL PAIL OF IGNORANCE!? 

TT: Karkat, it has come to my attention that you recently filled your pale quadrant.   
CG: I DID…….  
TT: I only recall briefly running into Damara when we were traversing the dreambubbles.   
TT: Would it be too much to ask to be properly introduced?   
CG: YES. 

GG: karkat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
GG: :D :D :D :D  
CG: WHAT IS IT NOW JADE?   
GG: you’re in love!   
GG: well, troll love!   
GG: but still love :D :D  
GG: can you tell me about her?   
GG: what is she like?   
GG: how did you meet?   
CG: I AM NOT TELLING YOU SHIT!   
GG: D: 

TG: yo  
TG: you touched a boob yet  
CG: STRIDER I WILL END YOU! 

Avoiding contact with the humans was becoming increasingly difficult. Since Kanaya had been forcefully confronted with your moirail, it was only a matter of time before the humans would find out. Soon the questions would start. How did you meet? What caste is she? Is she okay with nubby horns? Did you have your first jam yet? All the typical things you loved seeing in romcoms but would prefer avoiding in real life.

It isn’t like your embarrassed of Damara. She has been on her best behavior since moving in with you, ignoring that one time you caught her masturbating while on the pile. The only thing slightly embarrassing is her broken Alternian, which doesn’t bother you in the slightest. She is getting better and you feel your bloodpusher swell with pride every time she manages an entire sentence without errors.  
Still, like the concerned moirail that you are, you determine that visiting the humans at this stage might be a bad idea. She is only now beginning to resocialize. There is a blossoming friendship between her and Nepeta and a budding rivalry between her and Vriska.

The humans however…….

You think they might just be a little too alien to handle for now. It would be a culture shock that might actually have a negative effect on your moirail’s developing quadrantlife. You have only just begun steering your moirail towards red and black quadrants and the humans, with their dumb blurred quadrant system, might give her the wrong idea about…... Well, everything really. Humans are fucking dumb.

Though what would happen if she’d turn red for jade?

For a moment you amuse the possibility of the two of them making out with each other.

You then quickly hurry that mental image out of your head, with all the dignity you can muster (WHICH IS NONE). It’s just not happening because you aren’t going to meet with the humans. Not yet.

When your moirail appears in front of you with a beaming smile, holding a suspicious lavender envelope with equally suspicious handwriting however, you realize you may not have a choice in the matter.

“Lalonde……..”

* * *

 

“Remember what I told you?” you sigh as you step on the doorstep of the Egbert-Lalonde household. Your moirail has an almost frighteningly large smile as she nods vehemently.  
“Yes.” she chuckled.”Egbert is dumb, Strider is dumberder, Lalonde is dangerous and Jade is okay.” You give an approving nod.  
“And?”  
“And no sexing with humans.” she rolled her eyes.  
“Well……No sex with humans unless you go red for one of them.” you correct her. Somehow you do think she would make a good couple with Jade but you choose not to address the possibility before meeting them.”Still, save it for when you get some privacy. This isn’t gonna be a sexual encounter.”  
“But it so much fun.” she smiled lovingly at you and tweaked your horn.”And you so tense. What you say we both sex a human and fistbump. Many fun.”  
“Damara, no.” you sputter.”We can’t do that.” You blush fiercely as you imagine the blurring of quadrants like that. Fistbumping your moirail while doing the caliginious waltz or the concupiscent mambo with someone else is just a bit too much for your vanilla tastes.  
“Think about it.” she chuckled.

Before you know what is up and what is down, the door opened and you were tacklepounced onto the pavement. Using her psychic abilities, your moirail immediately lifted up the ferocious dog-girl from your chest. The girl yelped as she was flung back through the door and disappeared in a flash of green light.  
“That Strider?” Damara asked, helping you back on your feet.  
“That would be Jade….” you groan.

“Karkat are you alright?” you are met with blue eyes, bucktooth and the ridiculous hood he still insists on wearing.”Sorry, Jade gets very enthusiastic. We haven’t seen you in a while.”  
“I’ve been busy….” You groan as you shake his hand. Such a dumb human greeting.  
“HI!” Damara practically yelled as she shoved you out of the way to grab John’s hand.”I AM DAMARA!” she was practically jumping up and down introducing herself to him. The worst part was that apparently had a contagious effect. He started to bounce with her.  
“Hi Damara.” He chuckled.”I’m John.”  
It’s a good thing he is already Lalonde’s matesprit, cause you were pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to deal with him hooking up with your moirail. You were pretty sure an ashen intervention would become necessary.

Inside, Strider held his hand up for a human high-five. As per mutually agreed upon tradition, (by which you mean: it’s your way of greeting him) you leave him hanging. Damara on the other hand eagerly smacked the human’s hand and introduced herself. Dave’s face remained impassive (“WHAT A DOUCHEBAG”).  
“You must be Damara.” the voice of Rose sang through the living room as the seer of light descended from the stairs.”We have heard precious few things about you. Nevertheless, I do believe introductions are in order.”  
“YOU ARE ROSE!” Damara shouted at the top of her lungs.”HI!”  
“Indoor voice….” You growl, stroking her curving horns. Despite her cheerful demeanor, she felt incredibly tense. This might be harder on her than you assumed.

In a green flash Jade rejoined the group with her bucktoothed smile, green eyes and wagging tail. “Sorry about that, I just got so excited. Did I scare you?” she asked with a goofy grin.  
“Not even a little.” You grown. You had grown used to her enthusiasm long ago.  
“You have a mean throwing arm….. mind……thing” Jade turned to your moirail and extended her arm.”You just threw really hard. Hi, I’m Jade.”  
Damara smirked and lifted the witch up with her psychic ability. For a moment you expected her to throw the human again but instead she opted for a bear hug.  
“Hi Jade!” she said only slightly softer than before.”I Damara. I am witch also.”  
The human giggled like an idiot while hugging the troll, before she was lowered again.

Maybe this would end well after all.

* * *

 

“WHAT THE FLYING FUCK STRIDER!!!”

You stand up, foaming at the mouth and holding a wii-mote in your hand. On Egbert’s suggestion you began playing Mario Party. You teamed up with your moirail, John teamed up with Rose and Dave and Jade played solo. The human must have pulled one of his dumb pranks again because he claimed it would be a good time. It was not. You can do nothing but watch in dismay as Waluigi steals your hard earned star.

“Snooze you lose Vantas.”  
“THAT WAS OUR *ONE* SOLITARY STAR YOU ATROCIOUS PIECE OF ACTUAL HUMAN WASTE!”  
“Calm down fuckass, it’s just a game.” Jade adds, very thoughtfully selecting what piece of candy Daisy should consume.  
“WE HAD *ONE* STAR. NOW WE HAVE NONE. YOU HAVE HAD TWO FOR HALF THE FUCKING ROUND NOW!”  
“Going for three.”  
“WE HAVE NO COINS, YOU GANGED UP ON US EVERY GAME!”  
“It’s not ganging up,” John pointed out “it’s every man for himself.”  
“Unless you are the only person to land on a red space.” Rose mumbled while moving Blooper.  
“Right, unless you do that.”  
“This truly is a vicious game.”  
“THAT LAST GAME PURE FUCKING LUCK AND YOUR TEAM HAS LALONDE!”  
“My, am I being accused of cheating?”  
“I think you are.”

The next minigame began when Rose finally decided to buy a candy, no doubt specifically to pester you later on. Damara tried to wrestle the wii-mote from your hands when she saw what gesture she was supposed to make to win, but it was still your turn. You had to win ‘shake it up’.  
You furiously move your hand up and down, trying your hardest to ignore the giggles of your moirail and to nót picture any lewd scenario wherein this movement might be applicable. Though you fail miserably at the later, you feel fairly good about your chances.  
The cans are shaken. The refreshing soft drink spurts out in a fountain and…….. Yours is only slightly less high than Egbert’s.

“GODFUCKMOTHERING---“

“Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh” Damara carefully rested her hand on your cheek. She was getting a lot better at shooshing you, since it had become a fairly regular necessity.  
“Not now Damara…” you growl. Your shoulders rise and fall as you take shallow angry breaths. “Sssshhhhshhhhhshhhhshhhshhhh” she continues shooshing and you freeze. Her hand is gently papping your cheek. _She is actually papping you in public._  
“Stop it…..” you growl weakly. You don’t want to make a scene in front of the humans. She is tenderly scratching your crown and you have to fight back a chirping noise.  
“Calm now pale love.” she whispers as she wraps her arms around you.”you don’t angry moon of life.”  
“I’m not angry.” You growl, muffled by her shoulder. Her scent relaxes you and you lean against her, already forgetting what you were upset about.”I’m just right….. and they’re not……”  
You slowly glance over to the humans. John and Dave pretend to be absorbed in another duel-minigame, but Rose looks at you with an almost predatorial smile. Jade just looks amused and coos as if she’s looking at a baby meowbeast.

“If you guys want cake, it’s in the kitchen…” John mentions off-hand, eyes glued to the television. You feel as if he’s embarrassed to have such an affectionate pale display occur a few feet from him and quickly drag Damara to the kitchen. As you glace back you see Rose wonking and picking up your wii-mote. It seems you don’t have to worry about that anymore.  
“You feel better?” Damara asks as the kitchendoor closes.  
“Yeah, just….. embarrassed.” You admitted, wishing you could lie. Why was honesty between moirails so goshdarn important.  
“No be.” she smiles.”humans don’t get moirails yes? They no not understand.”  
You guess that’s fair. You’d honestly be very surprised if John even got half the implications of what had conspired on his couch. Rose was another story, but she could be bribed with stories about Kanaya during her more awkward sweeps. Jade probably just thought the whole thing looked ‘adorable’ and you frankly couldn’t give less of a thought about Strider’s thoughts on the situation.  
“So what is cake?”  
“You don’t know what--?” you stammer, dumbfounded. It’s true that on Alternia, the sweet confection was never invented but for some reason you assumed they did on Beforus. Not only that, but when living in the same universe as Crocker and Egbert for this long, it’s practically impossible not to have consumed cake at some point.  
Then again, the Alpha group usually kept to its own….

With a theatric gesture you reveal the a large chocolate cake with caramel frosting. Knowing Egbert, his expertise and his new-found fondness for baking, it will be absolutely delicious. You look amused at the reaction of your moirail, who is carefully studying the cake.  
“Is this cake?”  
You nod and grab a knife, cutting two neat modest pieces from the cake and revealing layers of white chocolate and nutella. You quietly curse Egbert’s baking skills and your own inability to resist it while taking the first bite. The white chocolate and caramel melt in your mouth as the nutella and the chocolate cake become a sweet mass in your mouth. It is absolutely delicious.  
Damara tentatively takes a bit and almost moans at the taste.  
“SO GOOD!” she shouts.  
The two of you eagerly devour your slices. You aren’t entirely sure about the noises of ecstacy coming from you’re moirail’s mouth and how wholesome they are, but you decide to let it slide. After all, you remember your first cake.  
“Can we have another slice?” Damara asks after licking the crumbs off her plate. She looks at you with those big red eyes that are impossible to resist. You cut your moirail another slice. After a short pause, you also cut yourself one. After all, it didn’t stop being delicious. You give each other a quiet fistbump as you start nibbling on the delectable chocolate cake.

You cut another two slices after that.

And two more after that.

After which you stop caring about slices and start digging your hands in.

A feeling of dread overcomes you when you realize you and your moirail just consumed an entire cake. You feel a little guilty about it and look at your moirail, unsure of what to do or so. Hide the evidence? Run away? Confess your gluttony for delicious chocolatey cake to the humans?

Damara looks at you with equally guilty eyes and something inside of you just clicks. You aren’t sure what it is or why, but it just feels so right.

There is a tickling in your sternum, an irregularity in your breathing. You lean against the counter for support, open your mouth and begin laughing. The noise surprises you and makes you laugh even harder. When was the last time you laughed about something so silly?  
You aren’t sure when your moirail joined in but her laughter echos through the kitchen as well. She’s leaning against you with one hand and put the other on her stomach, her eyes crying with laughter.  
“This is incredibly stupid!” You howl.  
Damara shouts something in eastern Alternian. You understand the language enough to comprehend that she agrees with you and asks why the two of you are laughing.  
“I don’t know!” you say, slowly catching your breath.

The only thing you did know, was that when Jade knocked on the kitchen door, the two of you decided to excuse yourselves and head back to your hive. The humans probably thought your thinkpan was damaged beyond repair after hearing you laugh like that, but you feel lighter than you’ve felt in sweeps. You can't even remember the last time you actually had fun about something so stupid. Filled with warmth and chocolate cake, the two of you say your goodbyes to John, Dave, Jade and Rose. Jade promises to visit soon, so you keep that in mind. You would deny everyone who would accuse you of scheming to hook her up with your moirail, but it sure would be convenient if you were.

Damara clasps his hand into yours and smiles as you head home. You usually don't go along with it, thinking it's more of a flushed gesture but this time you don't mind. Her hand is only a little colder than your own, not like the icewater that runs through the veins of highbloods. Just another small thing you like about her  
“Humans are fun.” she says cheerfully..  
“They’re alright, I guess.” you grumble.”Try spending three of their human years with them.”  
“Meet them again?”  
“We might….” She playfully tweaks your horns, just to make you chirp. You don’t really mind; it’s nice having someone so affectionate. Playing with your horns when no one is looking, fixing your hair when it’s a mess, even papping you in front of the humans with no shame whatsoever. Damara has really matured since becoming your moirail, but you wouldn’t change her little quirks for the world.

“Next time we sexing humans and fistbumping.”  
“Damara, no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *don't make this rails with pails, don't make this rails with pails, don't make this rails with pails...*
> 
> -manages to avoid rails with pails-
> 
> -achievement unlocked: some goddamn self-restraint-
> 
> So yeah, on popular demand.... This!


End file.
